Just gimme some kinda sign
I am a strong believer in signs and synchronicities. I see them as silent messages from a caring Creator to help us find our path and move forward with intention. Whether that qualifies me as a future Wise Woman or a here-and-now whackjob may be open for debate. But it helps me find meaning in events and passages that can otherwise shoot me into shut-down mode.
So when the red-tailed hawk spent some hangtime overhead during my morning walk yesterday, I said a special thanks.
I’d just e-talked with a friend still grieving a loved one’s passing…and dealing with the confusion that comes when the good times finally start returning. The “I’m feeling alive and I’m feeling guilty” place. My response was to pass along a Dr. Phil-ism: “The depth, breadth, and longevity of your grief are not a reflection of how much you cared about the person.” (Whether or not you’re a Phil-fan, he has written some sensitive, pragmatic pieces on grieving lately: www.drphil.com/articles/article/12)
But something was still unsettled in my brain as Bridge and I stepped into our regular route. I know no two of us experience loss the same way. I also concur with those who say that grief is retroactive…each new loss recalls those that have come before, so we can be processing a constellation of goodbyes. Plus, the outward signs of our sadness can seem wholly out of proportion to onlookers. My dad’s passing evoked a calm and consistent sadness that ebbed and flowed and one day was manageable. My Labrador Teak’s death launched a two-year process that regularly caught me off guard and can still bring unexpected tears. Go figure.
So, enter the hawk. I saw its shadow first, the black silhouette of raptor wings on the winter grass. It disappeared, returned, than circled overhead. Slowly. Clearly not looking for prey. Just carried on the currents.
Back at home, I consulted my animal symbols book (Animal Spirit Guides. Steven Farmer. Hay House, 2006) and found this: The red tailed hawk carries the role of visionary and messenger….and helps us to see the big picture. It is a symbol of illumination and peace. Red Tailed Hawk’s Power is further represented by the beautiful red color that comes with maturity. This is our reminder that wisdom takes time and is not something that is given…it must be earned.
Not bad, I thought. I’ll relay that back to my friend. Maybe it will help.
Then came today. Yesterday’s sunshine and blue skies have given way to dark clouds and snow. When I opened the door for Bridge, I saw something large and burnished in the bare cottonwood behind my home. Binoculars confirmed it was a red-tailed hawk.
As I said, go figure.