all you need is love

Remember the guy in your high school whose intensity left you feeling a bit intimidated? The one who clearly had a sense of humor, but also a sense of direction that called you to recalibrate your own? Dennis Huffine was that guy, for me. We shared the percussion real estate in the NW corner of the Seymour High band room, but this was someone who actually knew the difference between a riff and a rimshot. Someone who could set an unwavering cadence to carry our award-winning marching band forward and fast. Today, Dennis lives outside Omaha and helps those wanting to capture memories and meaning do so through his company Living Legacy Videos www.livinglegacynow.com. When I saw the Valentine’s Day message on his website, I asked him if he’d care to author a relationships/reflections post for our Week-o-Love series. Here’s his response. Thanks, Dennis. 😉

All You Need is Love

As Valentine’s Day approaches, is love all you need?  In Corinthians, the Bible says:  “Love is patient.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.”  And of course, the Beatles sang, “All you need is love”.  But, is that really true, especially to keep a relationship together and working?

I once heard a caller on talk radio in Los Angeles share a list of basic life issues for couples to consider before marriage.  His premise was couples should be in harmony on a minimum of 5 of the issues and able to reach compromise on the remaining 2.  Anything less could result in marital discord, possibly divorce.

The 7 issues, in alphabetical order, not necessarily order of importance, are:  Children (especially how to discipline – authoritative, authoritarian or permissive?), Family/In-laws (like them or hate them?), Friends, Money (Are you a spender or saver?), Recreation (together or separate?), Religion, and last but not least, Sex.

I would add Goal-Setting to the list.  If one partner is a goal setter and the other is not, it is possible the non-goal setter may be very content to accept and adopt the goal setter’s goals.  If not, the goal setter will feel unsupported and a lack of togetherness, ultimately leading to strife in the relationship.  If goals are mutually exclusive, trouble lies ahead.

There can certainly be many other issues people will find important, like politics, vocations and jobs, where to live, education and so on…so, the list should not be considered all-inclusive.  Using it to explore each other’s feelings before marriage is much easier than waiting until the issue becomes real and a source of disagreement.  Maybe it all comes down to sharing and communicating.  After that, all you need is love.

A postscript from Carla: The preceding pic is of the Seymour Junior High Band, circa 1962–a bit before our “award-winning” days. Dennis is front row, fifth from right.

Advertisements

5 Responses to “all you need is love”

  1. Well said Dennis!

  2. Great article….Dennis & Carla! And…Carla, you didn’t point out where you were in the picture (but some of us know)! I think we from SCHS have plenty of love to spread around…maybe not in the relationship that Dennis is commenting about, but among our friends as well.

  3. Oh, Dottie…I think I’m pretty detectable: front row, fourth from left. 😉

  4. Love and one more thing:
    Many years ago a wise friend proclaimed that
    the first prerequisite to securing a marriage license
    should be evidence that the couple was capable
    of wallpapering a room together.

    I am very pleased to hear that your brother
    has sprung himself from the ICU.
    You guys keep up the good work.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: