We think it will be the big things that tell us we are on course, closer to our soul’s work, fulfilling our purpose on this earth.
We wait for the epiphanies. We remain alert for the kapow! karmic moments to confirm that we’re making progress.
And then, one unspectacular Saturday evening, when you’re doing nothing more than sitting in a comfy chair in your own living room, you see it. Just for an instant.
You see the light striking the books that merit keeping in a throw-away world. The shadow on the serigraph an artistic friend created. The dogs you love in sweet canine conversation. And you realize that it may never be the major moments that define your life…simply moments like this that reveal the choices you’ve made.
But more than that, you accept that they were not perfect choices. Never. They were only the difference between what was right–for so many justifiable, rational reasons–and what was best.
Choosing to end the relationship with Kate’s dad. Right for both of us, as subsequent relationships have revealed.
Choosing to work solo. Despite the assurances (and healthcare, and pension, and bonuses) of an amazing corporate position.
Choosing to trust that needs will be met. Even when accounts must be juggled and plans reconfigured.
So, that is the Gospel of Carla on 9.29.12.
And tomorrow, I will wake up, wondering all over again, if this is the right path. And what’s now? And what’s next?
Maybe that’s the constant in this ever-unfolding equation. The waking up.
P.S. The book quoted at the start: worth reading.